If you have never called out a narcissist before, it can be one of the most uncomfortable situations in your life. Please be smart and careful when you do it. People who have narcissistic personality disorder can be extremely difficult to be around. When you discover their true nature, every minute you’re away from them will feel like a holiday.
When the harsh opposition comes out, something you can expect to happen is when you call them out on their true nature. We know narcissists are manipulative, trying to be in control of others while feeling a sense of domination. However, all hell will break loose when they discover you have unmasked their plan and they no longer uphold that sense of entitlement or superiority.
If you truly want to invoke great anger into their souls, show them they are no longer in control and that the tables have turned. Mostly, narcissists are non-violent people with childlike insecurities, so there’s no need to fear for your life. But this doesn’t mean that they don’t have the capacity and ability to do vicious things which are non-violent related to the person who called them out. So, just be careful.
What Are The Signs A Narcissist May Go Through When Called Out
The narcissist hates being confronted with the truth. They’ve spent their whole lives creating this new ‘impressive’ persona that even the mere fact of revealing their true identity is haunting to them. They will do everything in their power to make sure that doesn’t happen.
With their low self-esteem, they can’t think about facing themselves, even if the truth comes out in tiny portions. Once they see a smidge of truth, they retreat. Several things can happen when you call out a narcissist. We will go over all of them below. This is to give you a better understanding and a way to keep you safe in case they try something to get you back. These are in no particular order.
1. Rage
When you call out a narcissist, you can expect immediate rage. This doesn’t even have to be the obvious calling them a narcissist. You can say other things like, ‘you’re a liar, or ‘you manipulate people through gaslighting them’, and this can set off a bomb within them. When you confront them about something they are hiding, it will also enrage them, but most likely just as a tantrum. People who are narcissists don’t like to be pointed out the truth about their behavior, so as a response, they get so angry to throw you off track. Just be careful because they might get violent.
2. Gaslighting
Narcissists love using gaslighting on people when they are confronted about their actions or words they used to hurt you. If you know what gaslighting means, then you know what to look out for. But, in case you don’t know what it means, it’s when someone tries to make you look crazy by twisting facts in their favor and using it against you. Let’s say you told a narcissist about something they did to hurt you. They will turn your words against you through gaslighting to invade your thoughts and confuse you, making you question what you called them out on.
3. Reverse Accusations
With the overload of information we live with today, believe it or not, a narcissist will read about their condition online. What this does is, if you call them out, they will turn around and call YOU the narcissist. They know what characteristics a narcissist posses and so if you call them out they will throw it right back at you with something like, “oh, so you think you’re a saint?” This is because most of us possess some traits of narcissism, as we are all located somewhere on the narcissistic scale, but not nearly to their extent. They will surely try to defend themselves because they can’t accept the fact that they aren’t perfect themselves, so it’s much easier to just lash out at you.
4. Blame Shift
One of the most common things a narcissist will do when called out shifts the blame toward someone else. The reason for this is that they don’t like to take responsibility for their actions. So, if they do something bad, it must be someone else’s fault, because how can they do something wrong? They’re perfect. Well, if you know a narcissist, this might sound familiar to you. Now, this becomes a problem because they believe nothing is their fault, no matter how obvious it may seem. But if you bring proof along, they will immediately skip past the blame-shifting and resort straight to rage.
5. Silent Treatment
A narcissist also loves using this on people. They normally resort to this when rage, blame-shifting, or denying doesn’t work. They will just go silent for hours, days, or sometimes even longer, depending on the person you are dealing with. What this does is create an uncomfortable situation where people will just apologize to the narcissists to speak with them again, making you feel you did something wrong. Expect them to react in this way and when they do, stay strong and don’t give in, make them realize you are not playing their game anymore.
The Bottom Line
When facing someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, it can make you feel frustrated and maybe like you’re wasting your time. But that shouldn’t mean you have to give up, because there are countless ways for you to get through to them. You just need to take the signs that we mentioned into account. They will bring out all the stops, but if you feel you’re strong enough to handle it, then you shouldn’t give up. It can seem like an impossible foot to improve or change, but it’s about having hope.
When this becomes a problem when your relationship is damaging to your health, whether mentally or physically, then leave them alone or end the relationship. Calling out a narcissist on their behavior is not for everyone. You need to have a powerful personality to call them out. The other sad truth is that so many with this disorder don’t want to change, which is something you also have to look at.
Just remember that when you call them out, you can expect any of the reactions listed above, maybe even all of them at once, and so be careful.
