Narcissists are masters of words. It’s the tool they used to manipulate, deceive, and seduce people around them. They love to manipulate people through verbal trickery to confuse, belittle, or degrade their victims. They have a way of always saying the right thing and the right time to make you feel worthless for them to dominate and control you at will.
When narcissists target Empaths with their manipulation techniques, they leave them traumatized and vulnerable. People on the receiving end will become emotionally drained as well as mentally crippled, not knowing what is going on or how to deal with what is happening. If you want to stay one step ahead of them, you must educate yourself in their language. It doesn’t mate if you’ve dealt with one before or never met a narcissist. Getting to know their behavior and way of speaking will only benefit you in the long run. Think of it as a shield you’re putting up against their evil ways.
Every day we are communicating with the world, whether to ourselves or others. They say the best form of communication is with empathy, but how do you communicate with someone who has no empathy? It can be overwhelming communicating with a narcissist, mostly because it always leads to one-sided communication. It can seem impossible to get your emotions, thoughts, or logic in, not even to mention a single word.
If you’ve ever experienced this before, you know what we’re talking about. So, if you are looking for ways to effectively communicate with a narcissist, then this article will help you achieve those goals. This is to assist you on the road forward, showing them you know how to take control.
Don’t Take What They Say Personal
Narcissists don’t like feeling they are being attacked, they behave in a harmful manner when this happens. Don’t worry though, it’s not just with you. They act like this with everyone they have an interpersonal relationship with.
Showing signs of an arrogant attitude towards everyone is just the way they are. They don’t discriminate against anyone specifically. You can understand everything a lot better when you realize their insecurities are the main reason behind them acting the way they do. This will assist you in becoming less reactive towards their behavior and escalating the conversation.
When connected in conversation, always take a step back and evaluate what is being said instead of reacting immediately. You’ll see that it is nothing personal towards you, they just see the world differently. This will help you not to act on their negativity.
And when you’re not reacting negatively, you’re also helping to keep your emotions in check, because when emotions are high in both parties, things might come out better left unsaid.
Always Avoid Arguments With Them
Narcissists see themselves as faultless. This makes arguing with them pointless. The reason for this is that narcissists will never admit to their fault. They don’t see their point of view as faulty but as the proven truth.
They don’t care about the feelings of others and if you stir up negative emotions, they will blame you instantly. Any sort of argument doesn’t matter how small or big will always escalate into a war of words with a narcissist and they won’t stop. The issue becomes not knowing when something petty might turn into a full-blown debacle.
Just remember that narcissists spend their entire lives knowing just when to push your buttons and then turn them against you, making you feel small and insignificant for acting in such a way.
It Helps To Paraphrase What Is Expressed
Someone who is struggling with NPD needs the constant approval of others, stemming from insecurities and fear. When dealing in conversation with them, show complete attentiveness towards them. This will keep them calm and avoid any emotional outbursts. Paraphrasing what they’ve said is a great technique to get your message across, but also makes them feel you’re listening to what is expressed.
Try Complimenting Them
Ridiculing and shaming a narcissist will get you nowhere. Even though they have a poor reputation for negative interpersonal behavior, you need to take a different approach when in conversation with them. Try praising them or even complimenting them.
Just like we need air to survive, narcissists can’t live without admiration. When talking to them, you can use positive affirmation to soothe their lack of self-esteem, try complimenting them on their personality, or tell them how grateful you are for them in your life. The way a narcissist behaves, saying inconsiderate things to anyone they come across, stems from strong insecurities and fear.
This makes you feel you’re walking on eggshells while also making conversation extremely difficult. Their sensitivity to criticism doesn’t allow you to express yourself freely enough.
Don’t Talk Too Much When You’re Around Them
We know this might sound silly and this will probably only keep them talking about themselves for much longer. But you want to keep your conversations as short as possible to not get too frustrated. As soon as you talk too much, they will see that as a challenge and start talking over you.
Narcissists don’t have any empathy for anyone around them. They won’t even think twice to cut you off. This can cause total frustration which you don’t need in your life. There is something we have to mention which is crucial to having a conversation with a narcissist. It’s better to listen more and talk less, but more important than that. Don’t mention any personal information about yourself.
It doesn’t matter what nice they may seem on the outside, on the inside they’re waiting for anything they can use against you or manipulate you with. When you feel that the conversation is heading to a much deeper level than you expected, get up and go get a glass of water or use the bathroom. Trust us, the less time you spend talking to them, the better for you.
Don’t Get Caught In Their Web
One is that narcissists love to get revenge. If you did something that they feel hurt them emotionally, they will have no problem throwing your entire past and present flaws in your face. They want to push you to the absolute breaking point because that’s one way how they manipulate you. If you just avoid the insults by ignoring them, you can save yourself so much trouble.
Don’t let them get to you. They get a kick out of pushing people’s buttons and if you fall for it, you’ll be playing right into their trap. Forget about the need that wants to explain everything or defend yourself, because they don’t listen anyway, so why would they now? It will be healthier for your mental well-being to just cut it off completely. That’s how they lose power.
The Bottom Line
The bottom line is it doesn’t matter how challenging, tricky, or frustrating it can have a conversation with someone who has NPD. You can still take control of your part of the conversation. The way you do this is by setting up clear boundaries for yourself from the beginning. This can help you block out any feelings of guilt or rudeness that might come your way.
You don’t need to give in to their behavior and continue to communicate with them. Just remember that you have a choice and following the steps we’ve stated will help guide you towards that.
