If you think your partner might suffer from NPD, then we’ve constructed this article, especially for you. We will go over several ways in which you can tell if your partner is indeed a narcissist. The first thing to remember is that a narcissist has several distinct factors about them, they are selfish; they don’t listen to others; they can not meet others’ needs, and they can be charming.
If you’re trying to figure out with your partner is a narcissist, don’t worry, you’re not alone, it’s become quite a common problem as of late. It is said that narcissism is found more in men than in women, although not always the case. When you first meet a narcissist and they like you, they will come across with charm and charisma, giving you everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner.
Once that fades away, you’ll realize their constant need to be praised, which also doesn’t matter how much you praise them. They’ll always feel like it’s not enough. At their core, a narcissist has low self-esteem, which is the reason for them constantly needing reinforcement from an outside force. But don’t challenge them. They are sensitive and will see you as challenging as a threat.
They will retreat with rude comments and insults constantly thrown in your face. So instead of saying something that they may feel is a threat, try complimenting them. You can do it subtly to keep them from expecting it the whole time.
How To Reach The Truth Regarding Their Personality And The Signs To Look Out For
When the signs come out at the beginning of the relationship, it’s difficult to notice before it’s too late. We all know no relationship is perfect doesn’t matter how it may seem in the beginning, everyone wants to be the best version of themselves. This is even truer with a narcissist. They will have you feeling this is the person you’ve been waiting for your whole life.
One of the first signs you’ll see is a lack of empathy towards you and others. Despite how much they say they care about you, it’s not always about the words but the action as well.
So, let’s look at some other behaviors someone with NPD can display for you to pick up early in the relationship before things take a dark turn.
You Feel Disconnected
A narcissist will only talk to you when it suits them. If you notice they don’t take an interest in your life or anything goals, for example, that you might have for the future or they don’t talk about the life you can build together, then you’re dealing with someone who has NPD. All they want to do all day is talk about how wonderful they are and how they are an example of a perfect person.
They don’t show interest in your life or your accomplishments, because it’s all about them. You may even wonder if they can feel an emotional connection with anyone.
Manipulation Is Their Weapon
Manipulation is the strongest tool they have. Having a narcissist as a partner you’ll notice throughout the relationship they will start making threats, but subtly. You’ll get this feeling of bad things will happen if I don’t do or give them what they ask for.
Even though it’s not the remedy, sometimes to avoid a full-blown argument, it’s better to just go along with what your partner wants, within reason, of course. They love using this to control you as their partner. They can’t imagine living their life without that control.
If you realize it is too late in the relationship, you might have forgotten what life was like without it.
You Don’t Feel Adequate About Your Life Anymore
If you feel you lost touch with the happy and accomplished person you’ve become, it might be time to consider ending that relationship. Narcissists have a way of saying things at the right time that will bring you down. Because they have such low self-esteem, to begin with, they won’t be able to handle the fact that your self-esteem is so high.
Their only option is to bring you down to their level. They will make you lose touch with whom you truly are by making negative comments about the way you act or the things you do. You felt tired all the time, up to a point where you don’t even want to get out of bed in the morning. You keep secrets from your family and friends as well as avoid them because you feel ashamed about the lies your partner has put inside your head.
You Feel You Always Have To Walk On Eggshells
If you’ve ever had to deal with your narcissistic partner’s mood swings, then you know it’s not worth the trouble of bringing that side out. The problem becomes you have to walk on eggshells around them, which we don’t have to tell you is not the sign of a healthy relationship. We like to call their mood swings narcissistic rage. One moment everything is fine and the next, full-blown fit.
It doesn’t even have to be something major that happened. No, it can be something small that happened at work, the boss greeting a co-worker and accidentally ignoring you. What happens is you lose touch with your decision-making consciousness because now all you do is try to make them happy to avoid any more fits.
They Have A Tendency To Constantly Put You Down
We mentioned narcissists struggle with low self-esteem, but with that said they have to feel like they are better than everyone around them, including their partner. So how do they do that? By putting people down, and insulting them, by doing this, they feel like they are maintaining some sort of superiority over them.
Your biggest weapon against the insults is not reacting to them, because when you react, they feed off that reaction. It makes them feel like they are still in control. When you achieve some sort of accomplishment, it’s worth noting how your partner reacts to that. If they don’t celebrate your achievements for what it’s worth and toss them to the side with boredom when they should be supportive. That’s a classical trait of a narcissist.
What To Do Next?
Learning about NPD and accepting that your partner does indeed have NPD can be difficult to accept. If you find your partner showing any of the symptoms mentioned, it might be a wise decision for them to seek professional help. Because the toxicity of the relationship will only get worse.
When approaching your partner to urge them to seek help, do so with compassion, and remember they are highly sensitive. It’s always recommended to build a strong support network for friends and family. What this will do is help you keep your sanity.
Lastly, you can also contact a professional about ways you can get your partner to agree to therapy if you feel that urging them to seek help won’t work.
