We’ve all come across a narcissist in our lives, probably not even knowing that the person we are talking to is a narcissist. Then some have fallen victim to them. Anybody who understands how a narcissist operates knows they can be very smart, and manipulative, and won’t stop until they reach what they’ve set out to accomplish.
Now comes the positive side. Even though outsmarting a narcissist is considered somewhat of a science, it’s possible. The first and most important fact that you have to understand is that a narcissist’s brain doesn’t work like ours, so using rational logic won’t work on them. We have to dig deeper and find out what makes them tick and how their brain works when dealing with everyday life.
This ends up leaving us with so many questions running through our brains and the reason you have so many questions is that you realize how consumed your life has become with this person. They have created these bonds that you feel you can’t escape from and you felt like you’ll never be able to move on. When you discover this world that was created for you and understand that you are dealing with a narcissistic person, connecting the dots will be easy.
The tough part will be when you have to untangle the bond that was created. With that said, it is possible to outwit them and escape from their clutches. In this article, we will go over various ways in which you can get there.
Do You Know a Narcissist?
Before you move into the various ways, let’s first look at if the person is a narcissist. Usually, you can pick up on these things, because for one, they never stop talking about themselves. Don’t confuse this human trait with someone you did something t they are proud of and now share that with you. No, the person we’re referring to is the one who thinks everything is about them. The sun rises and falls with them.
If this sounds familiar, chances are you’re dealing with a narcissist. They are egotistical and work on people’s nerves. The easiest advice we can give you is to do your best to avoid them. However, if you find you can’t avoid them, then this article is for you and we will guide you to the right path. Egotistical is just one way of identifying them. Let’s look at some other ways how you can identify them.
Identifying a Narcissist
If you’ve dealt with a narcissist in the past or are busy dealing with one, now chances are you’ve come across some trademarks. For others, you can’t tell right away, so here are some notable narcissistic characteristics that can help you in identifying them.
- The first characteristic we’ve covered and the talkative part, they are charismatic, funny, and charming. In all their charming anecdotes, they always play the hero, leader, or genius. They come across as knowing all the right people and can do no wrong while knowing just what to say for people to listen. It almost comes across like their own stage with an exceptionally well-written script.
- Everyone around them is always wrong. This goes hand in hand with the fact that they feel they are always right about everything. If you point out they are wrong due to captivating evidence, they will argue with you trying to convince you that the evidence you found is pure garbage.
- With that said, they don’t care what anyone says. They stick to what they believe in and will do everything in their power to convince you otherwise. They only follow their ways and are so narrow-minded that they only listen to themselves.
- They try to make everyone around them feel inferior. This brings them pure joy. If then something goes wrong between you two, they will make you believe it was all your fault.
Ways You Can Outwit a Narcissist
While having to deal with a narcissist, or maybe you’re still dealing with one, can drain you both physically and mentally. There are ways you can outwit them and achieve the upper hand or just get back to the way you were if you don’t have a narcissist in your life anymore. As we promised at the beginning of the article, let’s go over some ways how you can outwit them.
- During any sort of long-term interaction, you probably experienced some sort of abuse and realize how deep it runs. It’s a pain that unless you’ve experienced yourself, you’ll never know what it’s like. The best way to describe it is the hurt penetrates every layer of your being the longer it carries on. It emanates deep from within your soul, leaving you feeling like your heart has turned to ice and the trust you had in humans is completely gone. Heal yourself, the best way to do this is to get away as far as possible. Allow yourself time to heal. Don’t put time into it. Look within yourself at what happened and what caused you to allow this to happen. When you believe in yourself again and the healing starts, that’s when the narcissist loses their grip on you.
- Never react to them. It’s best if you do the exact opposite and go ‘no contact’. This will help you remember the peace you had before they came into your life. The reason for this is that they use fear against you, making you believe you can’t live without them, they put themselves in a place of power over your life so distancing yourself from that and cutting all contact with the support of people around you release that control they have over you and you’ll realize it was all just a game, it was never real.
- Now this one may sound contradictory but agree with them. Narcissists always enjoy shaming people for something they feel you are doing wrong. Let’s take parenting as an example. A narcissist parent will shame you, their child, for how you’re raising your children. When something like that happens, agree with them, they won’t know what to do. This is called non-resistance. When you do this, you’re showing their behavior for how it is and they won’t know what to do.
- Always keep your cards close to your chest. Never try to explain yourself or give a reason for your actions to a narcissist. They might still come out and attack you, but don’t give in. If you do, it will only weaken your position with them.
- The most important fact you have to remember about a narcissist is that they are fragile, insecure people, which is why they act the way they do, to fill the hole inside them. When they attack you and want to believe that you are the problem, take a step back and reassess the situation. As yourself, if what they are saying is true, if your answer is no, then you will realize how manipulative they can be.
- Lastly, always listen to your body. It will tell you exactly what you need. When you first encounter and get to know a narcissist, they will put themselves on a pedestal. They will give you all kinds of stories, like what a wonderful person they are and how lucky you are to have them in your life. With this, they play the game and break you down. They put your body through trauma and fear, but when you understand what they did to you, that’s also when the healing starts. Some techniques you can try are meditation, breathing exercises, visualization techniques, and reducing emotional triggers.
Final Thoughts
There is not much you can do, because you will never make them happy and for them, it’s all about a game of cat-and-mouse. They will give you love and take it back to gain control, so don’t even bother trying to figure out why they do it. It also won’t help you rationalize with them, they will not change.
We know dealing with a narcissist can be nerve-wracking, exhausting, and extremely challenging. The best thing to do is a nod in agreement with everything to go away so you can take a deep breath and exhale. Focusing on yourself is what you need to do.
As we mentioned earlier, the best way to go is to avoid them completely if you can. Don’t start a friendship or relationship with them. If you don’t have those options available, just follow everything we explained. Your happiness is the most important. You can make it clear to them that you won’t fall for their lies and live your life the way you want to. You are a wonderful person, don’t forget that.
