When first starting a relationship with a narcissist, you’ll find them to be very charming. They know just what to say and do to make you feel special, but this is only for a short while. What you’ll realize as the relationship progresses is they become emotionally unavailable and sometimes go further to become emotionally abusive. People misjudge the type of damage it can do to a person.
When you come to notice that your partner is always talking about themselves and their lives, not considering you for even a second, you might deal with a narcissist. Another way to confirm this suspicion is by watching them with criticism. If they can’t handle it and slightly start to over-react, then your suspicions are correct. Individuals suffering from NPD always need to be right about everything. They claim to know more and also claim to be the best in everything they approach.
The only time they show the slightest interest in you is when you have to fulfill their needs. This just leads to a lot of emotional distress. Studies have shown that about 75% of people who suffer from NPD are men. With that said, people who suffer from this will seldom seek treatment, because they don’t feel there is anything wrong with them.
We all have some sort of narcissistic trait hanging around our personality, but it makes up a tiny part of our overall being. There is a growing problem that more and more people show some sort of narcissistic trait, not to be diagnosed clinically, but enough to have toxic effects on those close to them.
We have some examples which we’ll be looking at in more detail below to make you realize what happens when you date a narcissist. We also share this with you to bring some clarity to your life, because being in any sort of toxic relationship is not healthy for any party.
When You Achieve Some Success They Will Knock You Down
As we mentioned in the beginning, a narcissist will shower you with love and affection when you just start dating. They do this as a part of their game to lure you in right up to where you’ve given all your trust to them. The compliments carry on for days and as you open up to them; they fill their narcissistic supply.
That is just something they used to manipulate you in the future. They see the fact that you’ve fallen as another achievement for them. It’s known that narcissists are jealous people, so when you achieve something great and share it with them, there is the possibility that it might be too much to handle.
They proceed in trying to knock you down, but subtly, sometimes with a sarcastic comment here and there. Because it’s quite obvious when you confront them, they will turn around and tell you they’re just teasing you or stop being so sensitive. They can also turn that jealousy more noticeable by telling you to stop bragging so much and that you’re becoming big-headed.
As the relationship progresses and you build on it, their entire view will change. Everything that they saw as attractive might become a threat and they will turn the compliments you got in the beginning into insults.
You Find Your Self-Worth Will No Longer Exist
Your life while dating a narcissist will become so over-ruled by their big egos. Deal with them complaining all the time about how other people understand nothing and they are always in the right. Feeding them with constant compliments can become tedious.
Narcissists go around exploding with self-admiration and in their world when they date someone their partner needs to portray that same obsessiveness towards them. This will cause your self-worth to completely disappear because you have to sacrifice everything that you are to give them everything they need. Leaving you with nothing left and they don’t even care.
Emotional Abuse Is Inevitable
Can you imagine a world where you have to constantly praise and uplift someone else’s feelings while yours do not exist? Well, that is exactly what happens down the line when dating a narcissist. You can’t tell your partner how you feel about anything, because they don’t have empathy for you.
Agree with how they feel. The reason for this is that if you disagree with them about their feelings they can become enraged, they are extremely sensitive and don’t like to feel challenged, even though it’s not your intention. Something else that will also cause you emotional abuse is the narcissistic rage that can ignite when you feel challenged.
Your Whole World Feels Upside Down
If you’ve put up with your partner who is a narcissist, then you know how difficult it can be. The abuse they put you through can have long-lasting effects on your mental well-being during or after the relationship. Here are some ways that a narcissist can effective your entire being:
- Firstly they will break you down emotionally and mentally. Up to a point where you will question everything you do, every thought that pops into your head, and even worse, your sanity. The reason for this happening is because they only take care of themselves. They don’t have any empathy for you, all the while making you feel you are lesser than them.
- A narcissist will give everyone the impression that they have the biggest confidence in the world. Now that’s all a front they put up to cover up the low self-esteem. The problem is they do it so well you won’t be able to tell the difference. So, because of that reason, they will break you down and destroy your confidence. For them, you being confident is a threat and they need to break you down to control you. They will have you thinking you are the one with the problem who needs help.
- Through their excessive use of manipulation towards you, they will make you feel like everything is your fault. Even if they are at fault, they will spin you a story to make it look like the only reason they did what they did is that you messed up first. This will cause you to overthink everything every time something happens, because to them, you can’t do anything right.
What Can We Learn From This?
Although you go through all the emotional and verbal abuse, you always have to remember that you have a choice regarding everything, especially your love life. Realizing what they are doing is the first step. You need to build up a support network with friends and family who can guide you towards freedom. It won’t be easy, but you have to stay committed to ending the relationship.
When you take that first step towards regaining who you are and who you were, realizing that you have control over your life, it will be a whole new world from now on. You create your happiness; you don’t have to rely on someone who is hiding his pain and low self-esteem behind a mask of egotistical boasting. When you free yourself from that grip, that’s when the narcissist loses power over you.
