Sometimes the best way to describe spiritual bypassing is as a way to gaslight a situation. In reality, it is sometimes a coping mechanism for people living in denial of their problems or issues in real-time.
Some people use spiritual bypassing as a means of escape from dealing with difficult situations. It sometimes serves people who use it in this manner as a way of dulling their pain instead of dealing with it in reality.
Spiritual bypassing is using spirituality to avoid addressing one’s pain or trauma.
John Welwood coined the term in the 1980s. He defined it as “a process whereby we short-circuit our spiritual development by relying on spiritual practices and beliefs that offer us a quick fix for our problems.”
What Are The Signs Your Experiencing Spiritual Bypassing?
Spiritual practices like bypassing act like a shield to those who use it in this manner. Bypassing acts may also include avoiding uncomfortable feelings or having to deal with negative emotions that could make you look or seem vulnerable.
You avoid your anger
Avoiding the fact that you feel angry is a red flag. As part of our built-in ability to feel emotional, anger is one of the emotions we will always deal with in life.
You feel spiritually superior to others
Being spiritual is one thing, but if you feel spiritually superior, this is already a telling way that suggests something isn’t right in the way you’re processing life.
You believe traumatic experience is a learning curve
Sure, we can learn many things from traumatic events, but traumatic events are not the sole way of learning about life and its teachings. You don’t have to go through a traumatic experience to evolve spiritually. You also don’t need to ignore your traumatized experience and write it off as nothing serious.
You ignore the present and only focus on spirituality
Being spiritually inclined does not mean that you cannot and should not deal with reality. Life is about real people and the issues and personalities each one has. Ignoring what is really under the guise of spirituality can be devastating in the long run.
You pretend everything is fine when it isn’t
One of the biggest factors that show you’re spiritual bypassing describes when acting as though everything is fine becomes the norm. It can be hard to deal with problems, especially those of a harsh nature. Still, pretending that it’s okay, that you’re okay, is deflecting the truth and avoiding having to deal with it.
Having the assumption that with a positive attitude, all people can overcome problems
Positivity is a key concept in life and yes, being positive tends to attract positivity. Still, when this becomes the assumption that people are fine if they just remain positive, the concept is already skewered.
Spiritual Bypassing Can Cause Contradictory Beliefs And May Result In The Following Negative Side Effects
- There’s emotional confusion – You may think you’re okay and happy when actually you’re writhing with anger and upset.
- You’re experiencing anxiety – Anxiety often takes precedence in people who bypass reality through spiritual bypassing tactics.
- There’s no sense of personal responsibility – Spiritual bypassing could leave you vulnerable to becoming incapable of taking responsibility for your actions.
- Spiritual narcissism – Narcissists have a way of bringing people down. Narcissism, even when “spiritually” projected works in the same principle. Being spiritually narcissistic is sometimes used to encourage someone while at the same time used to hurt another.
- Spiritually gaslighting folks – You may tend not to consider others’ feelings or emotions. If people complain about what had hurt them, the spiritual bypasser may quiet them by gaslighting, saying they are negative.
- Unfortunately, when there’s a refusal to deal with real-life issues which are common and natural for everyone, spiritual bypassing could lead to other problems.
- Some people could risk worsening or developing mental health issues when they use spiritual ideas to solve problems. Emotional issues could also remain unresolved and possibly lead to new mental instabilities.
Cope And Overcome Without Fear Or Denial
- Negative feelings and thoughts are part of the process – Use them to work through the difficulties and grow. But, don’t deny it a place. In other words, be mindful of your emotions and feelings without labeling them. Process these emotions and don’t be hard on yourself about it.
- Be compassionate with yourself – Spiritually bypassing folks is often hard on themselves, this is also why the refusal to face problems occurs. There’s a fear of what the reality might reveal. Be compassionate with yourself and accept that we all face problems. With time, you’ll be able to extend your compassion to others too.
- Discomfort needs help – When you’re feeling uncomfortable, it’s your body’s way of saying something is not okay. Use the feelings of distress as critical elements or warnings and seek help.
- Don’t classify your emotions as good or bad – There are no good or bad emotions, only positive and negative ones. It’s good to recognize your emotions, negative or positive, and find positive outlets to cope with them. For example, people take to music or other physical activities to process pain more healthily.
- Become a better listener – Nobody is perfect even the most spiritual of people. Still, when using bypassing on a spiritual note, it’s easy to start feeling superior to others.
- Take note of your emotions – When you’re listening to others, bear in mind how you’re feeling at that moment. Try not to project or judge their situation.
Conclusion
It’s better to work through problems as they come and not allow the fact that you are spiritual to blur reality. Spiritual people are not immune to negativity or challenges. Spirituality should not be an excuse to face problems.
Avoiding issues through spiritual bypassing will result in problems becoming worse and possibly festering and disrupting old and new relationships.
Admit that there is a problem and talk to someone about it. Only after having dealt with the issues at hand can you go on to enjoy spirituality without the problems warping reality.
